It was a sunny Sunday noon and the city of Chennai was re-framing its life back to normal, as it had suffered brutally with the recent flood. It had taken away the livelihood of everyone across the region and the city even earned the title of being a "Disaster Zone". But nothing bothered me as I was racing in my Pulsar along the Old Mahabalipuram Road. My mind was filled with something else bigger than all these sufferings of my fellow residents and those thoughts kept haunting me as I rode. It was not long before that the chain of thoughts were interrupted by the sudden movement of vehicles cutting past me. I failed to notice that the traffic signal had turned Red and suddenly on regaining my conscious, i applied my brake hard and carefully, so as to have my bike under control thus preventing a head on collision. Shoo!!! with a huge sigh of having things under control, I checked the mobile for the time as I was supposed to be at the destination by 1 PM. Surprisingly I had a text message in it. Opening it little suspiciously there was,
"I have reached long time back Rahul.
- Aneesha"
Oh Shit!!! Not today. The clock was fifteen to one and i had miles to travel and even with the little traffic, it was not an easy feat to achieve. No sooner the signal turned Green, the throttle hit the maximum and my bike roared heavily. As i rode, i was wondering what made Aneesha reach so early than the decided time? Actually Aneesha and I decided to meet today at Chocoman's by 1 and the reason was due to the past day's event. Millions of suggestions sprouted within me the next moment i visualized her, however i was not sure what was going on within her as she was completely different from me. There is a universal quote for getting into a relationship, and it is "Opposite poles attract each other". Though it may prove right with Physics, the chemistry between us was heavily concentrated that, it made the opposite poles to repel, without our knowledge. During the initial days of our meeting, it was like a piece of cakewalk but as the relationship grew stronger, our differences became the reason for most of our fights.
Cutting through the traffic, reaching Echangaadu junction, the time was exactly 1pm. Since i had never known this outlet before, i was little worried if i may end up searching every street. But to my surprise i found it within a kilometer from the the junction, a special thanks to "Google Maps" which made things easier. On my final approach to the confectionery, i could clearly see the bright white Activa of hers shining brightly with the sun's rays. I went on to park mine close to hers which i always do, not only with the vehicle but also for myself. The only wish that i had asked for from her during the budding days of our relationship was to hold her hand ever and to not let it go anytime and any day. But there were few days when i had feared for she moving away from me, even though having a small belief that she would not do in real. Entering the deserted shop, in the far corner i could see the shining glow of her skin. She was silently reading a novel with a cup of her favorite Cappuccino. I approached her slowly and as i was closing on her, she had sensed my presence and turned instantly.
"Hi Aneesha, Sorry I am late. Didn't know that you would be coming so early. If so i would have also started bit earlier"
Saying so i sat opposite to her. She had replied to my statement but nothing reached my ears as i was completely electrified by her looks. The kajal in her eyes could make me fall in love with her any number of time. I cursed the table separating us as my heart desired to sit next to her but in the current situation i knew that it was apt to sit facing her. For a long time she was silent looking at me and i sensed that i should speak out. So to erase the silence between us, i started enquiring about her health, how her project was going on and other stupid stuffs which i always do. To all the questions that i had asked, all that she did was either giving out a single word reply or just nod her head. With each of her reply i was loosing my energy as i sensed she was less interested to share things with me, and by the time i was completely drained, the waiter came out asking for the order, saving me rightly. I took a quick glance at the menu and since i had missed my breakfast too, i ordered an omelet sandwich with a butterscotch shake, the later was her favorite. I gave frequent looks towards the kitchen hoping the meal turns up early and i was lucky to an extent as it turned out 15 minutes later. And you wonder what happened in those 15 minutes? Hmm well it was the usual silence that we maintained. As the waiter served the meal, she spoke up:
"Have your Sandwich Rahul. I am pretty sure that you would be hungry as you would have skipped your breakfast as usual."
Aneesha was right as she knows me much better than i do. That was one of the best part of her which made me fall in love. As i was half through my sandwich, she said something in a feeble tone which hardly reached me as i was pacifying my stomach which had nothing to process for a very long time and which gave a rumbling noise very often. As i had not replied she understood that i would not have listened and this time she spoke little loud.
"Rahul, do you think we shall be happy being together?"
Shivers ran down my spine as i never expected to hear one of its kind from her. With a part of sandwich still in my mouth i hesitated as to why she was asking.
"Come on, tell the truth. Do you really feel that we shall stay together and lead a happy life for a long time? Be true to your heart and reply."
I sensed the seriousness in her tone and so I cleared my throat to speak. Looking straight into her magnetic eyes, I said:
"Babe, you know very well that i am happy and will be always happy just with you. Also i know the reason why you have asked me this question. I very well understand and realize that i fight a lot with you and things are not going well between us for the last couple of months. However i do regret for the words that would have hurt you but that does not mean i am the same. I am trying hard to change myself so that things may go on smoothly."
"Why do you change just for me Rahul? Be how you are and why fool yourself for others comfort. However coming to the actual point, i would like you to know one thing very clearly. It is that every time as i remain silent to all your stupid words that you say out of anger and later confess for it saying unknowingly does not mean that i am acting dumb without reciprocating. Rather, it is just that i am trying to ease of the situation without refuting at you, which may otherwise end up in a big blow."
I was observing to all that she was telling and i knew that she was right, especially knowing about me to some extent. Everything that she had told was perfectly true as i was the one who mostly got into a fight with her almost every week, not leaving much of the time to come out of the box and to think what actually caused the issue and make her cry almost every day, which being a guy i should not have done. There were couple of days when i had actually restrained myself from the crowd and sat all alone at the beach, thinking deeply as to what is causing the issue? Why are we not happy and why do we fight very often? Though every time issues would have been something silly, the major disaster turns up with the communication gap between us keeps expanding. She is very bad in expressing and that too after i moved to a different office far away from her, the amount of time that we spent together in a month was slashed to minimums. Since she doesn't let me know most of the matters and i always find it hard to understand her, but she always expects me to understand it on my own, which is seriously the most challenging task I face, in spite of trying it all the time. As all these thoughts were rolling in into my head, she gave a stern glance towards me thinking i was not listening to what she was telling.
"What are you thinking so hard. Say something."
I knew i had to say something for what she had told on how she felt about being in a relationship with me. But at the same time i had to be careful in choosing the words to speak. I thought,"the less spoken, the less pain caused". And so,
"Fine Aneesha, i accept to everything that you say and i do know that i am torturing a lot. But that does not mean i do not love you and i purposely do it. It is just that we both are polar opposite and it takes a round to understand each other well. Moreover since we do not meet often, i find it even more challenging to move ahead thinking how you would react or manage a situation and how should i act over there. Even couple of times i had suggested of meeting very often and speak out something more about us. But all that i get to find when we meet is that either you remain silent all through the meet or we speak of something useless and finally end up with war or words based on our conception."
I could sense the restlessness in her eyes as i was delivering this long philosophical speech. I did not know how to bring the situation under control and as most of my solutions were hardly considered by her, i asked her to open up with a good formula to equalize the long lasting unsolved calculation.
"Just open and speak up at least now so that we can figure out the issue or the differences between us. Say what you feel or if you have a solution kindly tell it and i am okay with anything. Let us follow it and check out if it really worked. If not then we shall work towards a different plan and stick to it."
As every little word of mine came out, i could easily sense her disapproval against me. My words were like adding more coals to an overheated steam engine. She did not seem pacified with any of the reason that i told her to confront from thinking over and above regarding patching up the wound. But i did not stop talking and continued cooling her down with the small hope that she may become normal and we may get together again. Alas! who expected that she would drop the port hangar very soon.
"Rahul, you know very well that we both do not make up a good pair and you can not stay happy with me. Also there is no need for you to just fake up the relationship and lead your life with me just for the sake that we got into one. So with the best interest on both of us, it would apt if we stay apart from each other. Let us just move on with our life. You stay happy and move ahead with your dreams, while i shall remain as how i was before meeting, but with an addition of small guilt of ruining your life in my heart."
Shit!!!
That was one such moment which i never wished to occur or hear from her, alas!!! my fear became true....
I felt vacuum filling up very fast within me. It seemed like someone had struck me right at the center of my head thereby I loosing all the senses. Words did not turn out of me and i felt petrified with her words. The impact of her spell had caused a serious burn to my mind at first, as my heart could not take the impact so easily. It still pumped into me the adrenaline that "Aneesha is your love life, do not loose her. Keep fighting for her and do not give up your hope". But slowly as the words started draining through my veins to the heart, that was when i felt the real pain. I have earlier had failures with in almost every situation of my life, but that was not so painful and bitter as this. The words were so bitter that i felt like Aneesha was tearing away a part of her from within me by having me under complete conscious. My internal organs had slowly started reacting to the blow and the first tear, in ages, rolled out of me.
People were around us, but nothing bothered me as the tears rolling down gathered momentum with each drop. Aneesha tried her best to pacify me, but i wondered from where did that much water turn out. Did i really have that amount of water stored within me or was it the combine tear of us coming just through my eyes? I did not know. However after minutes i finally consoled myself upon accepting the truth as i had no other option, though a small portion of my heart still pushed me hard to get it patched up. But i had known Aneesha to some extent and here in this case it is very difficult to revoke her decision. She is firm with her decisions always.
Walking towards the bike, too many thoughts bombarded within me, not knowing on how to handle each one as everything was about her. It had been always about Aneesha that i had thought, more than myself. She had been the source of my happiness and she was the reason for why most of my days moved on gracefully. She was the incarnation of my energy and now everything seemed lost into the worm hole. As i climbed on to the bike, the grief made me suffer even more with the thought that, from now on who will be there to ride with me, in the rear seat.
Bidding one final bye to Aneesha i just drove off from that place without looking back at her because i knew that, every moment that i stay there, i shall keep falling in love with her over and again, which was limitless. My bike, that had always been my companion, understood my feelings and took me along as if it was controlling all the mechanics on its own. I was lost on track.
I would have not even crossed a mile away from the confectionery when a sleek Audi gave me a sudden cut. I had to quickly respond and eventually hit the breaks very hard, thus coming to a stop with a neat skid. If I had not just blew the horn heavily, i would have encountered a head on collision with the vehicle ahead of me who also encountered Audi's cold drive. I was not in a mood to get into an argument with the driver of the car though many who had faced a similar situation had got into. And then something unusual occurred over there, which i believe was the power of love.
"See Aneesha, how ruthlessly they drive and only if i had not honked the horn endlessly, we both would have had the worst time of our life. Good god we were saved by the horn, which you often scold me for using it ceaselessly."
Till date i wonder how did those words spill out of my mouth.
Was it the power of Love or was it the profound affection that i had on her, that made me say it?
"I have reached long time back Rahul.
- Aneesha"
Oh Shit!!! Not today. The clock was fifteen to one and i had miles to travel and even with the little traffic, it was not an easy feat to achieve. No sooner the signal turned Green, the throttle hit the maximum and my bike roared heavily. As i rode, i was wondering what made Aneesha reach so early than the decided time? Actually Aneesha and I decided to meet today at Chocoman's by 1 and the reason was due to the past day's event. Millions of suggestions sprouted within me the next moment i visualized her, however i was not sure what was going on within her as she was completely different from me. There is a universal quote for getting into a relationship, and it is "Opposite poles attract each other". Though it may prove right with Physics, the chemistry between us was heavily concentrated that, it made the opposite poles to repel, without our knowledge. During the initial days of our meeting, it was like a piece of cakewalk but as the relationship grew stronger, our differences became the reason for most of our fights.
Cutting through the traffic, reaching Echangaadu junction, the time was exactly 1pm. Since i had never known this outlet before, i was little worried if i may end up searching every street. But to my surprise i found it within a kilometer from the the junction, a special thanks to "Google Maps" which made things easier. On my final approach to the confectionery, i could clearly see the bright white Activa of hers shining brightly with the sun's rays. I went on to park mine close to hers which i always do, not only with the vehicle but also for myself. The only wish that i had asked for from her during the budding days of our relationship was to hold her hand ever and to not let it go anytime and any day. But there were few days when i had feared for she moving away from me, even though having a small belief that she would not do in real. Entering the deserted shop, in the far corner i could see the shining glow of her skin. She was silently reading a novel with a cup of her favorite Cappuccino. I approached her slowly and as i was closing on her, she had sensed my presence and turned instantly.
"Hi Aneesha, Sorry I am late. Didn't know that you would be coming so early. If so i would have also started bit earlier"
Saying so i sat opposite to her. She had replied to my statement but nothing reached my ears as i was completely electrified by her looks. The kajal in her eyes could make me fall in love with her any number of time. I cursed the table separating us as my heart desired to sit next to her but in the current situation i knew that it was apt to sit facing her. For a long time she was silent looking at me and i sensed that i should speak out. So to erase the silence between us, i started enquiring about her health, how her project was going on and other stupid stuffs which i always do. To all the questions that i had asked, all that she did was either giving out a single word reply or just nod her head. With each of her reply i was loosing my energy as i sensed she was less interested to share things with me, and by the time i was completely drained, the waiter came out asking for the order, saving me rightly. I took a quick glance at the menu and since i had missed my breakfast too, i ordered an omelet sandwich with a butterscotch shake, the later was her favorite. I gave frequent looks towards the kitchen hoping the meal turns up early and i was lucky to an extent as it turned out 15 minutes later. And you wonder what happened in those 15 minutes? Hmm well it was the usual silence that we maintained. As the waiter served the meal, she spoke up:
"Have your Sandwich Rahul. I am pretty sure that you would be hungry as you would have skipped your breakfast as usual."
Aneesha was right as she knows me much better than i do. That was one of the best part of her which made me fall in love. As i was half through my sandwich, she said something in a feeble tone which hardly reached me as i was pacifying my stomach which had nothing to process for a very long time and which gave a rumbling noise very often. As i had not replied she understood that i would not have listened and this time she spoke little loud.
"Rahul, do you think we shall be happy being together?"
Shivers ran down my spine as i never expected to hear one of its kind from her. With a part of sandwich still in my mouth i hesitated as to why she was asking.
"Come on, tell the truth. Do you really feel that we shall stay together and lead a happy life for a long time? Be true to your heart and reply."
I sensed the seriousness in her tone and so I cleared my throat to speak. Looking straight into her magnetic eyes, I said:
"Babe, you know very well that i am happy and will be always happy just with you. Also i know the reason why you have asked me this question. I very well understand and realize that i fight a lot with you and things are not going well between us for the last couple of months. However i do regret for the words that would have hurt you but that does not mean i am the same. I am trying hard to change myself so that things may go on smoothly."
"Why do you change just for me Rahul? Be how you are and why fool yourself for others comfort. However coming to the actual point, i would like you to know one thing very clearly. It is that every time as i remain silent to all your stupid words that you say out of anger and later confess for it saying unknowingly does not mean that i am acting dumb without reciprocating. Rather, it is just that i am trying to ease of the situation without refuting at you, which may otherwise end up in a big blow."
I was observing to all that she was telling and i knew that she was right, especially knowing about me to some extent. Everything that she had told was perfectly true as i was the one who mostly got into a fight with her almost every week, not leaving much of the time to come out of the box and to think what actually caused the issue and make her cry almost every day, which being a guy i should not have done. There were couple of days when i had actually restrained myself from the crowd and sat all alone at the beach, thinking deeply as to what is causing the issue? Why are we not happy and why do we fight very often? Though every time issues would have been something silly, the major disaster turns up with the communication gap between us keeps expanding. She is very bad in expressing and that too after i moved to a different office far away from her, the amount of time that we spent together in a month was slashed to minimums. Since she doesn't let me know most of the matters and i always find it hard to understand her, but she always expects me to understand it on my own, which is seriously the most challenging task I face, in spite of trying it all the time. As all these thoughts were rolling in into my head, she gave a stern glance towards me thinking i was not listening to what she was telling.
"What are you thinking so hard. Say something."
I knew i had to say something for what she had told on how she felt about being in a relationship with me. But at the same time i had to be careful in choosing the words to speak. I thought,"the less spoken, the less pain caused". And so,
"Fine Aneesha, i accept to everything that you say and i do know that i am torturing a lot. But that does not mean i do not love you and i purposely do it. It is just that we both are polar opposite and it takes a round to understand each other well. Moreover since we do not meet often, i find it even more challenging to move ahead thinking how you would react or manage a situation and how should i act over there. Even couple of times i had suggested of meeting very often and speak out something more about us. But all that i get to find when we meet is that either you remain silent all through the meet or we speak of something useless and finally end up with war or words based on our conception."
I could sense the restlessness in her eyes as i was delivering this long philosophical speech. I did not know how to bring the situation under control and as most of my solutions were hardly considered by her, i asked her to open up with a good formula to equalize the long lasting unsolved calculation.
"Just open and speak up at least now so that we can figure out the issue or the differences between us. Say what you feel or if you have a solution kindly tell it and i am okay with anything. Let us follow it and check out if it really worked. If not then we shall work towards a different plan and stick to it."
As every little word of mine came out, i could easily sense her disapproval against me. My words were like adding more coals to an overheated steam engine. She did not seem pacified with any of the reason that i told her to confront from thinking over and above regarding patching up the wound. But i did not stop talking and continued cooling her down with the small hope that she may become normal and we may get together again. Alas! who expected that she would drop the port hangar very soon.
"Rahul, you know very well that we both do not make up a good pair and you can not stay happy with me. Also there is no need for you to just fake up the relationship and lead your life with me just for the sake that we got into one. So with the best interest on both of us, it would apt if we stay apart from each other. Let us just move on with our life. You stay happy and move ahead with your dreams, while i shall remain as how i was before meeting, but with an addition of small guilt of ruining your life in my heart."
Shit!!!
That was one such moment which i never wished to occur or hear from her, alas!!! my fear became true....
I felt vacuum filling up very fast within me. It seemed like someone had struck me right at the center of my head thereby I loosing all the senses. Words did not turn out of me and i felt petrified with her words. The impact of her spell had caused a serious burn to my mind at first, as my heart could not take the impact so easily. It still pumped into me the adrenaline that "Aneesha is your love life, do not loose her. Keep fighting for her and do not give up your hope". But slowly as the words started draining through my veins to the heart, that was when i felt the real pain. I have earlier had failures with in almost every situation of my life, but that was not so painful and bitter as this. The words were so bitter that i felt like Aneesha was tearing away a part of her from within me by having me under complete conscious. My internal organs had slowly started reacting to the blow and the first tear, in ages, rolled out of me.
People were around us, but nothing bothered me as the tears rolling down gathered momentum with each drop. Aneesha tried her best to pacify me, but i wondered from where did that much water turn out. Did i really have that amount of water stored within me or was it the combine tear of us coming just through my eyes? I did not know. However after minutes i finally consoled myself upon accepting the truth as i had no other option, though a small portion of my heart still pushed me hard to get it patched up. But i had known Aneesha to some extent and here in this case it is very difficult to revoke her decision. She is firm with her decisions always.
Walking towards the bike, too many thoughts bombarded within me, not knowing on how to handle each one as everything was about her. It had been always about Aneesha that i had thought, more than myself. She had been the source of my happiness and she was the reason for why most of my days moved on gracefully. She was the incarnation of my energy and now everything seemed lost into the worm hole. As i climbed on to the bike, the grief made me suffer even more with the thought that, from now on who will be there to ride with me, in the rear seat.
Bidding one final bye to Aneesha i just drove off from that place without looking back at her because i knew that, every moment that i stay there, i shall keep falling in love with her over and again, which was limitless. My bike, that had always been my companion, understood my feelings and took me along as if it was controlling all the mechanics on its own. I was lost on track.
I would have not even crossed a mile away from the confectionery when a sleek Audi gave me a sudden cut. I had to quickly respond and eventually hit the breaks very hard, thus coming to a stop with a neat skid. If I had not just blew the horn heavily, i would have encountered a head on collision with the vehicle ahead of me who also encountered Audi's cold drive. I was not in a mood to get into an argument with the driver of the car though many who had faced a similar situation had got into. And then something unusual occurred over there, which i believe was the power of love.
"See Aneesha, how ruthlessly they drive and only if i had not honked the horn endlessly, we both would have had the worst time of our life. Good god we were saved by the horn, which you often scold me for using it ceaselessly."
Till date i wonder how did those words spill out of my mouth.
Was it the power of Love or was it the profound affection that i had on her, that made me say it?
